Can’t sleep? Listen to what your parts need…

When there are parts of us stopping us from sleeping it can feel annoying, frustrating and pressure can build up, making it even more difficult to get to sleep.

…I’ve been there – frustrated at the restless legs (that’s a Restless saboteur).

… or annoyed at the listening for strange sounds (that’s a Hyper Vigilant saboteur)…

… or the thinking about how affected I’ll be in tomorrow’s tasks if I don’t sleep now (that’s a Controller saboteur).

The saboteurs need love and to be listened to. They are stuck in the past and need reassurance that this situation is different to back then (if it is. If the situation isn’t different then their worries are reasonable). 

In this video I share what’s what it’s like to listen to their needs, take action to meet them and the sense of wholeness that comes from being a ‘good enough parent’ to them (and you get a little peek inside my van!):

Leave me a comment below to let me know how you communicate with your parts :o)

Finding it hard at Christmas? Try sage exquisite attention

I know how hard it can be to be on your own at Christmas (I’ve been there).

I also know how hard it can be to be with others at Christmas (I’ve been there).

Paying exquisite attention to your senses and your breathing can make all of that just a little bit easier and even create amazing connections with yourself and your loved ones. Here’s how:

If you’d like some support with creating amazing connections with yourself and loved ones book your clarity with me and we’ll chat about what you want for yourself and your loved ones in 2022:

Leave me a comment below and let me know how you’re spending your December bank holidays 🙂

How climbing falls helped me feel my feet and overcome trauma

My friend, Sioban, and me at the top of a wall at The Reach, Woolwich.

About 5 years ago, I began climbing. I loved it. I’d go to the local bouldering wall and get lost in the movements and challenges of working out the routes. However, I had a couple of falls where I twisted my ankle. When I returned to climbing I felt very afraid, even on ‘easy’ routes. I used my sage to work out what had happened during those falls. There is a guideline in climbing that you need to have 3 points of contact with the wall for balance. What I noticed was when I took my attention from my feet to my hands, the contact between my feet and the holds was loose. That was why I had slipped. I couldn’t feel my feet.

I wondered about not being able to feel my feet. When walking I often stumbled or stamped. It occurred to me that it was a trauma symptom and stemmed from not being in my body. I designed some experiments. The first was a walking activity. When walking I would focus on feeling my feet. It was hard at first because I was still stumbling and stamping. I felt embarrassed. But when my sage was ‘online’ I could just notice what it was like rather than judge it. I began to notice little sensations in my feet – how they felt inside my shoes and as my shoes made contact with the ground I didn’t need to stamp any more. 

Another experiment was to climb the easiest routes available and pay attention to feeling sensations in my feet as I climbed up and down. I would do each route 4 times, just focusing on my feet. Gradually, I began to trust my feet to hold me, even when I was looking at my hands. I didn’t have to use so much energy to keep paying attention to my feet whilst looking elsewhere. I could pay attention to both my feet and my hands. 

I began to experiment with other areas of my body. I wasn’t aware of my glutes at all. So I began paying attention to that part of me whilst walking and climbing, and even whilst rising from a chair. I felt such joy at feeling these sensations in my body. My body – I felt like I owned my body at long last! I resided in it, it was mine, and I loved it!

Embodiment is just one aspect of being in sage and I’m covering so much more in the upcoming 5 day free masterclass in The Art of Self-Compassion. Join us to expand your ease and flow and have better relationships with yourself and everyone else! Click here to register.