Julia Fry – The Kindness Coach
Survivors need kindness to shine
In Module 3 of the coaching program I’m on I get to create a timeline. This documents all the negative and positive events and milestones from age zero to now (50). These events become journal fodder for uncovering values, decision making strategies, and beliefs. It has been intense.
Continue reading “We Can and We Will Do Hard Things”If you are working on something that you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you.
Steve Jobs
I agree with this statement wholeheartedly. I’d like to share my recent walking experience with you because it’s a physical metaphor for this statement…
I was out walking in the woods. I noticed that when I held my head up with my gaze straight ahead, seeing as far along the path as I could, the walking was easy. Conversely, when I focused on the ground about twenty metres in front of me to make sure I didn’t trip, the walking felt harder.
Gazing into the distance softened my vision to the immediate environment and I didn’t trip. My feet knew what to do. It was up to me to trust them and let them get on with it. This made the walk more pleasurable; I could drink in the smells, sounds, colours and the feel of my body moving through the cold air that stung my cheeks and ears.
If you’re a survivor of adverse childhood effects, then you’ll know it’s often hard to trust your body. This is why so many survivors have trouble with proprioception – your body’s ability to perceive its own position in space – and interoception – understanding and feeling what’s going on inside your body. It’s taken me years of focused practice to begin to trust my body and to feel and enjoy the sensations of physical activities. I was able to do it because my desire to be at home in my body was inspiring me or, in the words of Steve Jobs, pulling me forward.
The walking metaphor translates to my vision for my coaching practice, which is:
I have given excellent service to 1,500 survivors of adverse effects who are now free from old ways of being that no longer serve them and live from their values, purpose and integrity, creating their highest visions of success in their lives.
by 25 December 2025
This vision pulls me forward and I find myself taking actions, like writing three blog posts in one morning when usually I have to motivate myself to turn up at the blank page (even though writing usually flows once I start). Motivation is great, but inspiration is better. There is flow, excitement, passion, love, and fun in inspiration.
I have, this week, set up a Facebook community group for survivors called The Community for Survivors to Shine. This action was inspired, rather than motivated. I think of this group as something to be nurtured and it gives me such pleasure to think about and discover content to share in it that will inspire the community. Do join us – click the link above 🙂
Do share in the comments 🙂
Check out my coaching programs. I’m here for you!
In the spirit of the phrase, “energy flows where thought goes,” what was one thing that was awesome for you about 2020? Keep focusing on the question until you think of it. It could be big or tiny… When you think of that one thing, how do you feel when you think about it?
Continue reading “Energy Flows Where Thought Goes – What Are You Thinking?”
When you want to create conscious change in your life, it’s important to set intentions. This week I’ve been working with my intention of a daily Team Meeting for Big Me and Small Me. Who are they? I hear you say. Read on and I’ll tell you more…
Continue reading “Intentional Team Meetings with Big Me and Small me”
Once you have a crystal clear personal vision of your dream project resistance will kick in. It shows up in all manner of ways from headaches and other illnesses to limiting “what if…” thoughts. These kinds of blocks are thrown up to keep you safe. They’re often things that helped you in the past somehow. But they don’t keep you safe. They keep you small and unfulfilled. It takes a lot of energy to stay small.
Continue reading “Resistance Stops you Taking Action if You Let It”
When you have an idea of the future you want for yourself you can begin to manifest it by exploring it with all your senses. Imagine you already have your version of success, whatever that means to you:
Continue reading “Do You Have a Personal Vision You Love?”In January 2018 I was experiencing deep frustration at the fear that was paralysing me when I went to climb. Climbing was one of my passions and had been for about a year, yet when I went near the wall I felt crippling fear. I wondered whether my fear was related to the effects of trauma that pop up in my life, so I decided to research trauma and recovery, and set myself experiments to overcome fear. I recorded my journey in a series of blog posts, in case anyone else was going through the same thing as me. I thought I’d share links to those posts here because the sports psychology I used in my experiments might be useful to you. Here they are:
Four months after completing that series I began a new journey as a Climbing Instructor at an indoor wall.
