Recently I had to draw on all my self-compassion reserves and practises when I gave my lodger notice to move out and he behaved angrily towards me.
I could feel lots of child parts of me feeling hurt and that it was unfair so I was very careful to sit with them, rather than react to my lodger.
It wasn’t just child parts that were triggered – it was also parts of me from my 20s and 30s who needed to express and heal from relationships I’d ended and felt guilty about ending (as if it wasn’t my right to end them!).
I allowed it all to unfold, holding space for these parts to feel the feelings I couldn’t really feel back when they were traumatised. I also released a lot of shame and guilt that wasn’t mine, and some that was.
It was not an easy process. In fact I felt great discomfort for a number of days. Inner work is not always lovely and light. It’s also about sitting with the darkness and allowing it to be just as it is so you can feel and process and love the hurts.
I’m so grateful to my lodger for his angry reaction and the judgements he made that triggered these parts to bubble up. Whatever situations we find ourselves in are opportunities to heal and learn.
Once the processing finished I found I felt more whole, more authentic, which means I know myself more. From this space I set and maintain boundaries with greater ease. Does this make sense? Let me know in the comments :o)
I teach the techniques for this in my Sage and Saboteur Empathy Activation 3 Part Series program. It soon becomes second nature when you seize the opportunities to embrace your saboteurs (the parts of you that make you self-sabotage) and, more importantly, those hurt parts of you that need to express themselves for healing to take place.
Are you ready to be more whole, more authentic and set boundaries with greater ease? You can apply to take the Sage and Saboteur Empathy Activation program by booking your clarity call and we’ll see if it’s a good fit for you. Click the button below to apply.