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You have awareness that it could be different, better, and it will be. I know because I’ve been there, wishing I could make the inner critic(s) go away and even wishing that I could feel gratitude towards them when they show up. 

It’s tough knowing / seeing what’s possible but not being there yet. Makes you doubt whether it’s possible for you. Maybe you’re different, more broken or ‘bad’ at the core. You’re not broken or bad. Your parts are amazing and have done a brilliant job of keeping you safe or trying to, at least, in the only ways they knew how. 

I want to help you see the beauty of how they fit together and what’s underneath… your unique essence that is perfectly you, always changing, always the same, connected to everything else and constantly giving you the info you need to fulfil your purpose here.

I have lived experience of childhood sexual abuse, physical and emotional abuse, the effects of which followed me into adulthood and I have found that self-criticism is one of the hardest things to overcome from all of that. My research shows me it’s the case for many survivors of abusive relationships. 

I did my Coach training in 2005/2006 and am so grateful for it because when I had a breakdown in 2010 and couldn’t work, it was something I could use to pull myself out of isolation and social anxiety. Without that I wonder whether I would have gone to university – I could have stayed in that dark hole forever. At that time I was suffering with PTSD and CPTSD flashbacks and anxiety and depression and I received CBT – 6 weeks of a group course. It helped me recognise the critical voice inside my head as separate to me and that began a journey of trying desperately to get rid of it.

Over the years I came to realise that I couldn’t get rid of it. It was part of me, along with other voices or parts. I labelled them ‘saboteurs’. I drew them and named them and came to recognise their behaviours and feelings and beliefs. Then I tried embodiment activities, like trauma sensitive yoga, and mindfulness. And I tried meditating and I realised that a combination of embodied mindfulness, cultivation of wonder, and self-compassion are the keys to recovery.

When I was struggling to feel appreciation for my saboteurs, I thought maybe that’s as good as it gets – recognising the parts. But there’s always more. Now I love them and thank them when they arrive but I couldn’t have done that back then. I rolled my eyes at them and even told them to fuck off, so I can understand the desire to make them go away.

I can help you to understand your saboteurs, their needs, focus on and express their emotions, and heal their pain so they can support you in what you’re here to do. I know you know you have a purpose and sometimes it gets lost in the day to day stuff of dealing with life, whilst negotiating the triggers. And that can be so frustrating sometimes. But it doesn’t have to be that way. 

I can help you tune in and heal your hurt parts. Developing compassion for them is going to help you a thousand fold. It’s so magical to connect with the vulnerable parts of you that are curious and playful and have so much love to give! As you connect with love to those parts of you that you had to abandon before, you’ll find your relationships with other people either become so much better or you’ll stop tolerating the ones that drain you

You’ll become so much more authentic and you’ll trust yourself more and more. You’ll tune into what’s right for you and immediately take action on that. 

I’ll help you do all of this by first being with you with empathy and compassion. I have compassion for ALL of you, even the parts that you cannot, yet, have compassion for. 

I’ll help you map out how your parts trigger one another and the understanding you’ll get from that will allow you to begin to have curiosity, and then compassion for the ones that feel yucky or scary right now. 

Our relationship is a space of love that unconditionally welcomes what needs to be expressed for healing to happen. I am here for you. I prize you. I love you. I will help you soothe when you need to and go deep when you need to, and we will laugh and cry together, if that is what you need. I am a therapeutic instrument and I am here for you. 

You will feel seen, truly seen, and it may feel odd at first, but then it will feel warm, like someone deeply cares about you (and I do), and that you matter, that this world would be lost without you in it because it’s true. You will feel prized, loved, not for anything that you do, but because you’re you. That will feel glorious when you allow it in and from that you will do whatever you need and want to do without question.

I offer a VIP 121 Coaching Package that will help you manage the trauma rather than it managing you. Check it out here:

Or you can try a session @ £45 so you can get a sense of what it’s like to work with me. Here’s a link to book your first session.

I also offer a free 30 minute clarity call over zoom where we can get to know each other a little bit and decide whether to work together (no obligation). Click the link below to book yours.

Love, Julia